Tales From the Customer Service Crypt

Real stories. Real verdicts. Disney-inspired strategies that turn ordinary service businesses into unforgettable brands.

How to Make Your Business Easier to Do Business With

by: Vance MorrisPublished on: 19/10/2026

My bank hid its new ATM behind a brick wall. Here’s how to find the friction costing you clients.

Cause of Death: The Invisible Yellow Line Quietly Killing Your Sales

by: Vance MorrisPublished on: 06/10/2026

My mother's cracked ribs led me to an ER with an invisible yellow line. Here's why confused prospects never buy, what an unclear offer costs your business, and the one-sentence service standard that fixes it this week

Risen From the Crypt: The Woman With a Spoon Who Made Me Break My Tipping Rule

by: Vance MorrisPublished on: 21/09/2026

I never tip at a food counter. A Chipotle server changed that with six simple sentences and zero dollars. Here's how to surprise clients for free by killing buyer's remorse the moment they say yes, and why most advisors, attorneys, and CPAs skip it.

One Ketchup Packets: How Forgotten Details Quietly Kill Client Loyalty

by: Vance MorrisPublished on: 09/08/2026

I ordered Popeyes for 14 entrepreneurs at my mastermind. Twenty biscuits arrived with ten condiment packets and exactly one ketchup. Why the smallest details quietly kill client loyalty, and the audit that finds yours before your clients leave.

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Systematic Magic

Vance Morris

The ONLY Disney Experience & Direct Response Marketer, who actually worked at The Disney Company

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How I Judge Every Story

Every week I dig up a real customer experience, from the headlines or from my own life, and stamp it with one of four verdicts.

Risen From the Crypt: The rare business that shocks me in the best way. Somebody did something so right it deserves to be studied and stolen for your own shop. I show you the system behind it.

Signs of Life: A business that was flatlining and started breathing again. They're not there yet, but they're moving in the right direction, and the fix they made is one you can make too.

Cause of Death: An autopsy on an everyday failure. The small, ordinary letdowns that quietly kill loyalty in businesses everywhere, probably including yours. I name the cause and show you how to keep it out of your building.

DOA: Dead on Arrival: A decision so bad it never had a chance. These are the ones where I stop being polite, because somebody with a budget and a committee should have known better.