Tales From the Customer Service Crypt

Real stories. Real verdicts. Disney-inspired strategies that turn ordinary service businesses into unforgettable brands.

What Ridiculous Wine Descriptions Teach Us About Customer Experience and Retention

What Ridiculous Wine Descriptions Teach Us About Customer Experience and Retentionby: Vance MorrisPublished on: 13/01/2026

What absurd wine descriptions teach us about customer experience and retention and why confusion, not price, drives customers away.

customer experiencecxloyaltycustomer loyalty
What Ridiculous Wine Descriptions Teach Us About Customer Experience and Retention

CATEGORIES

Vance Morris

The ONLY Disney Experience & Direct Response Marketer, who actually worked at The Disney Company

Is Your Business Burying Customers Without Knowing It?

How I Judge Every Story

Every week I dig up a real customer experience, from the headlines or from my own life, and stamp it with one of four verdicts.

Risen From the Crypt: The rare business that shocks me in the best way. Somebody did something so right it deserves to be studied and stolen for your own shop. I show you the system behind it.

Signs of Life: A business that was flatlining and started breathing again. They're not there yet, but they're moving in the right direction, and the fix they made is one you can make too.

Cause of Death: An autopsy on an everyday failure. The small, ordinary letdowns that quietly kill loyalty in businesses everywhere, probably including yours. I name the cause and show you how to keep it out of your building.

DOA: Dead on Arrival: A decision so bad it never had a chance. These are the ones where I stop being polite, because somebody with a budget and a committee should have known better.

Recommended Reading

  • Systematic Magic: 7 Magic Keys To Disnify Your Business CLICK HERE

  • The Experience Economy by Pine (it's a bit dated, but the lessons and strategies are pure gold pixie dust

  • Making the Magic: Customer Experience Boot Camp

  • The Most Unforgettable Event For Consultants & Coaches: CLICK HERE (a done-4-you boutique event at Walt Disney World)